Are you sabotaging your goals before you even start

Have you ever looked in a really clean mirror under one of those bright lights? And get real close and look at all your pores and nose hairs and that one gray hair you've been denying ?

Its fascinating! 

You can see every single little flaw. Amazing right. 

Well for me it is, I love picking and tweezing and pulling. Its a fun pastime of mine. 

I remember hearing once that being married is like holding a mirror up to yourself. I didn't fully understand what that analogy meant at the time. But I sure do get it now.

Marriage is a lot like that extra clean mirror under that extra bright light and seeing all those flaws of yours.

But this time, its not so fun. 

Its tough, its really tough. But its really good. Its really really good. As long as you look and pick or tweeze or pull. 

You see I've had that marriage mirror in my face for a little while now and I've learned a big lesson. I've been learning how important my words are. 

They can be uplifting and encouraging and they can be vicious and destructive. I know, its not revolutionary. But hey I'm a bit blurry eyed and needed that reflection in the mirror to be extra clear for me to see it.

I first saw it with my husband. He graciously pointed it out to me. And then he lost his patience with my blurry eyes and was not so gracious. But I finally saw it.

And then that mirror got a little closer and I realized that I use those words on myself, too.

I started paying attention to them. That inner dialogue I have going all day long. Telling myself who I am or who I am not. What I can do or what I can't. The good, the bad and the ugly, right.

I know you know what I'm talking about, Cause we all have it. What you do with it is what makes the difference.

The reality is, I have to talk to my husband. Its a pretty bleak marriage if I don't. So the choice is, what am I going to say to him?

Its the same with yourself. Unless you want to attempt getting rid of that inner dialogue altogether (good luck with that), you are going to be talking to yourself. The beauty is you can choose what you say.

You can always choose what you say.

It starts with paying attention. 

Meditation helps with this. So does journaling. A healthy yoga practice draws attention to your inner dialogue as well. 

Our actions come from our thoughts, from that inner dialogue. If you want to lose weight, make sure that inner voice is cheering you on. If you want to be more positive, speak positively to yourself. If you want that job promotion, use that voice to encourage you.

Take a moment right now to write down some new phrases to add to your inner dialogue.

Read over them every morning and every night, and pay attention to the difference they make. 

Remember, you get to choose what you say. 

Added note: don't be fooled by thinking an extra fancy mirror with a border of jewels will help. It will distract you for a bit, but the reflection is still there. And the reality is, that's where the good stuff is anyway.